When you want to ask someone out, you have a world of nerves inside of you. It’s normal. After all, nobody likes the potential for rejection. It sucks, quite literally. You think they’re into you, but you’re not sure. The best advice? Look for signs a woman is secretly attracted to you and cut out a large chunk of the “what if” energy.
You see, building yourself up to asking someone out comes down to confidence. How can you be confident if you’re half thinking that they’re going to say “no”? In the end, you’ll talk yourself out of it and that’s a missed opportunity.
Instead, look for the signs, build up your confidence, and go for it!
Women can be confusing, but you just need to know what to look for
It takes investigative skills if you want to know how to tell if a woman is attracted to you. Women are very fickle creatures, and we mean that in the kindest sense.
Built on emotions, empathy, and the need to help others, often, women are guided more by sheer reaction than anything else. Not always aware of how we feel ourselves, if you are wondering how to tell if a woman is attracted to you, she might just as easily be asking herself “am I attracted to this guy?”
The signs that a woman is attracted to you can come in many different forms. We hate to tell you that there is no magic flashing light or sign that says “I’m into you.”
On the whole, it is about a woman showing you that she is excited to see you, not annoyed by you, and confusingly when she is in a bad mood, taking it out on you.
That is what makes it all so perplexing. Sometimes the things that feel like she doesn’t like you are the very signals that tell you she does.
If you are having a hard time figuring out how she feels about you, then she is either trying to figure them out herself or sending mixed messages, but probably not on purpose.
She may be unsure about how to handle her feelings for you, or afraid of rejection, if you can’t tell on the surface, then sometimes you have to dig beneath to find out what is in her heart.
Must-know signs a woman is secretly attracted to you
If you’re really hesitant to approach a woman, gauge your odds of success by seeing if she’s giving off any indicators. Now, this doesn’t mean you will end up together, but this does means that you won’t be rejected the minute you approach her. But, that’s a start, right?
1. It’s in the eyes
Okay, she’s not going to have “I’m into you” literally written in the eyes, but it might as well since it’ll be so obvious.
She’s eyeing the hell out of you. In fact, you notice her staring at you when you’re not looking *stand by a mirror*, every movement you do, she’s going to see. We become slightly obsessed when we’re into someone. That’s one of the biggest signs a woman is secretly attracted to you.
2. She’s checking you out
You see her eyes scanning you from head to toe. Maybe when she’s talking to you, she grabs your arm and gives it a squeeze.
Sure, it’s flirty, but she’s also seeing the muscle action that’s going on underneath that shirt. Just like you guys check us out, we do the same to you.
3. Look at her body language
One of the clearest signs a woman is attracted to you can be seen in her behavior around you. Is she sitting close to you? Touching you when she talks? Licks her lips while you guys are having a conversation?
She’s not trying to eat her lip gloss. She’s into you. Like, to the point where she wants your tongue down her throat. Of course, some women will not be so obvious. However, if she’s touching her hair, sitting towards you—she’s into you.
4. She’s lingering around you
Listen, when a girl is into a guy, she’s there. Like, if he’s at the bar, she’s at the bar. If he’s on the dance floor, well, would you look at that, she’s on the dance floor. She’s hunting you.
We’re maybe not so aggressive as you guys are, but the point is, she’s making herself available for you to approach her.
5. She regularly makes low-key conversation
She’s scared of being rejected so she may try to start a conversation in a low-key way. Maybe she’s at the bar and says something that could pass like she’s talking to herself. But that’s your opportunity to grab onto the conversation and get it rolling.
6. She stumbles over her words a lot
If she’s stumbling and fumbling with her words, she’s not drunk or something else, she’s simply nervous because you’re around her! That means she likes you.
Take it as a good sign and help her to feel more confident and relaxed. That way, the conversation can flow more easily.
7. She wants to know everything about you
How many siblings do you have? Where did you go to school? What do you do for work? She wants to know your entire background.
Why? Because she’s interested in you, but she wants to know what type of person you are. It’s normal, you’re probably just as curious.
8. She drops hints that she wants you to go somewhere with her
She may drop some hints about how she’s interested in watching the latest blockbuster movie, or that there’s this hip-hop night next week that you have to go to.
If she doesn’t like you, she’s not asking you to go out anywhere. You’re lucky she even gives you her name. If she’s doing things like this, it’s definitely one of the signs a woman is secretly attracted to you.
9. It’s often all about you
Did some other guy come up and hit on her? You probably didn’t notice because she didn’t even blink at him. She focused on you and that’s really the only thing she can see right now.
We mean, the girl is willing to reject other guys for your company, that must mean something.
10. She likes to be close
If she’s not into you, the last thing she will want you to do is to touch her. Seriously, that’s not the goal. If a girl really likes you, though, she’s going to find a way to have her hands on you. Maybe when you tell a joke, she laughs and touches your arm, or sits close beside you. Point is, she wants to feel you.
11. Low-key *aka secretly high-key* stalking
Haha, low-key stalking, don’t make us laugh! By the time she introduced herself to you, she already found you on Facebook.
Sorry, but you know, girls want to know what you’re about and if you’re a good person. Trust us, after a one-night stand, most women already know the guy’s Instagram and Facebook just by his first name.
12. She mimics you
Now, we’re not talking about her becoming a theatrical mime. But, she will mimic your movements subconsciously.
If you pick up your glass to drink, she probably does the same. It’s called interactional symmetry, and it’s based on attraction. So, look at her body language and the words she uses.
13. She’s all laughs
You’re just the funniest guy to her. Even the crappy jokes you pull somehow make her giggle. Sure, maybe you are actually funny, but maybe you’re not.
If she’s into you, though, she wants to show you that she appreciates your humor and company, so she’s going to laugh.
14. She opens up to you
She tells you something personal about herself, maybe her parents are divorced, or she had a bad breakup. Whatever it is, it’s personal.
People don’t advertise their private lives to anyone, unless, they’re attention seekers, but you’ll be able to differentiate the two. If she shares something personal with you, she’s trying to build a connection.
15. Her voice may change
Now, she doesn’t turn into a low-baritone, but when a woman is attracted to a man, their voices do tend to drop. You may be thinking how the hell are you going to figure out that her tone of voice has dropped. But it’s something you’ll just notice.
16. She tells you she likes you – bonus!
If she just straight up tells you she’s into you, well, then this is the best scenario. You don’t have to look at the signs a woman is secretly attracted to you, you don’t have to weigh your odds. She’s into you, the cards are already laid out for you. Now, you just need to get her number and get the ball rolling.
17. She is shy around you
A girl who is shy around you doesn’t want you to see who she really is. Often, shy people are unsure about how you will feel if you know the “real” them. They hide behind a cloak of shyness to shield themselves from getting rejected.
If a girl is acting standoffish or shy, then don’t mistake that as an “I am not attracted to you” thing. It just might mean that she gets all silly and ridiculous when you are around because she can’t wait to get cosy with with you.
18. She is always dressed nicely
A girl who is attracted to you never wants you to see her sweat – not figuratively or literally.
If you notice that even when she says she just came from the gym, she is dressed in nice workout clothes with no signs of sweat anywhere, then chances are good she doesn’t want you to see her looking anything but at her best. That typically means that she is attracted to you.
19. She’s doing the ‘smile and hair flip’ move
Girls can’t help themselves – sometimes literally. A girl who is attracted to a guy will try her feminine wiles on him any way she can, even sometimes when she doesn’t know it.
Signs of flirting are touching her face, flipping or brushing her hair, smiling, making eye contact, and sometimes finding ways to touch you. If you notice that she seems engaged when with you, then she is probably attracted to you.
20. She has a nervous laugh when you talk to her
If you notice that she is laughing at all of your jokes, and even some things that you say that aren’t necessarily funny, then that probably means that you make her nervous.
When women are attracted to men, they often get nervous about the way that they are coming across, what they are saying, or how smart or stupid they sound when talking.
Her laugh is likely a result of not knowing what to say or being worried about the messages that she is sending to you.
21. She gets jealous of other girls and chases them away
When a girl is attracted to you, the only person she wants you to see is her. That makes the green-eyed monster in her come to the surface when she feels like her place is being challenged.
If she gets incensed when you talk about other girls, even when they are just friends or coworkers, then she is jealous of them because she wants to be the only one running through your mind and body.
22. She is a poser, but only when she’s with you
Maybe she is someone who isn’t about her appearance or the way she looks. But, suddenly, you notice she is throwing on the high heels to head to the sports bars or putting on tighter clothes than she ever has before. That might mean that she has begun to find you attractive.
Whether you have been friends for days or years, if she suddenly starts acting more girlie when she is with you, she is trying to use her femininity to get next to you.
23. You find her looking at you when she doesn’t mean to
If you find her looking at you at odd times, then quite likely, that means that she is daydreaming about you.
Sometimes when we are attracted to people, our eyes tend to find them and stare even when we don’t want them to or even know. If you catch her sneak peeks, then that is a sign that she finds you attractive.
24. She fidgets a lot when you talk to her
Again, if you are attractive to her, then you are going to make her nervous. Worrying about whether her thigh looks fat in the position she is in, or if you are looking at her good side, she is probably not paying much attention to the things that are coming from your mouth.
Her fidgeting means she is more concerned about what you are seeing when you look at her than what you have to say.
25. She ignores you
Yep, like boys punching girls in the arm when on the playground, sometimes we girls can behave pretty immaturely. If she has suddenly started to ignore you, is failing to answer your texts, or taking forever to get back to you, don’t wrongly assume you have done something wrong.
Being vacant and ignoring a guy is sometimes a sign that we are playing hard to get or that we just don’t know how to handle our attraction.
26. She is playful with you
If she can’t seem to get enough of cutting you down, messing with you, or teasing you, don’t take offense. The playful side of girls can get turned on when you turn them on.
If she keeps messing with you or sending you playful jabs, they probably aren’t meant to embarrass you; they are meant to form a bond with you and to get you to return the playfulness. She is hoping it will lead to playground contact.
So, now what?
You’ve noticed several of the signs above, so what do you do now?
Ask her out!
Go on, you know you want to!
While you can never be 100% sure that she’s going to say ‘yes,’ having a few of these signs on your side means that you can allow your confidence to grow. She’s not going to be dropping these signs on the regular if she’s not bothered about you or she doesn’t want to be around you.
For sure, she might be confused about her attraction but at least there’s one already there – that’s something to work with!
You can either ask her face to face, perhaps casually – “do you want to check out a movie with me this weekend?” or you can drop her a message on social media. Whichever route you take, you can feel a lot more relaxed about your chances, thanks to her giving you these under-the-radar signs.